Why Not Me?
For those of you who don't personally know me, my name is Amy. I used to work as a surgical assistant before pursuing my dream of entrepreneurship and starting Tot Threads. My favorite surgical cases were C-sections...hands down! I loved being apart of something so sacred and special. Plus, those little pink babies all day...sign me up. Someone else can take the bowel case. Sorry, not sorry.
However, the occasional case would send me running to the locker room (or closer yet, the instrument room) in a fit of tears. The meth addicted mama. The thirteen year old rape victim. The mom with five children and no desire for her newborn. My heart broke for those women, and their babies.
But I often found myself questioning, "why not me?" You see, I'm one of the many U.S. women who have struggled with infertility and pregnancy loss. It took me a long time to overcome the shameful idea that somehow these women were more "deserving" than me. Why should they get babies, while I'd tried everything under the sun to make it happen with no success?! If I'm honest, I'll admit that I sat in a state of bitterness and self-pity for awhile.
Then I remembered this scripture: "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." - Psalm 27:14
I'd like to encourage anyone who is walking through the same tears and trials that I've endured...be strong and take heart. I know it seems cliché to say that everything happens for a reason. But ladies, God's understanding far surpasses our own. He hears and sees things that reach much farther than our own imaginations could ever wander. You might look back in hindsight one day realizing that God did not abandon you, but he instead aligned a more beautiful journey than you could have ever hoped for.
Darling, be strong and take heart.